then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
