I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
