Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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