The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
