Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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