So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
wow bdsm is so cute
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
