the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
