We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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