I just saw a hot homeless man
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
