YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
