Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
