there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drunk is not a location!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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