Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
