She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
