Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
