Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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