Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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