Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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