we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
