Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
