but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And then my night got REAL pukey
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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