I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
