Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
try to milk me bitch
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