just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
