Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
