He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
