Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
