does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
