We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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