once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
