I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
