He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
