I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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