Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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