I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Need sex. Gaining weight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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