I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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