i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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