I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So squirting runs in the family.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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