Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize