This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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