remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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