bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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