Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just want nice things and good sex
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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