can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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