youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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