girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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