tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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