she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Its about making memories worth repressing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
