I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
