I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
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How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
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Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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