I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
