FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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