Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
