the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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