out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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