They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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