Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
